I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So much rum. So many feels.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
God, I missed his penis.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
