a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize