Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
