Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
