im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
