Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
