My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
