I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always