We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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