we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
