I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
