i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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