i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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