We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
