I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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