so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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