can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
