i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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