I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
