Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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