What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Still dying that you shit outside
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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