She said her name was "party"
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
