therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
