Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
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My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
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This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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