Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just googled if crying burns calories
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I am mentally ready for anal.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
