I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
