Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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