If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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