It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
