bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
