Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
