If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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