I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
