Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We need to get me chipped asap
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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