Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize