he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
