youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
