its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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