that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
