what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
