my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
They took my balls.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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