Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
