literally had 100 drinks last night.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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