Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
