it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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