Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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