he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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