I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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