Can Purell be used as lube?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
