your thong is hanging out like whoa
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
