this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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