Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I touched a dick in church today
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
