Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's never too late to be topless.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
