I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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