Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize