Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
