Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
