Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This house was built for laser tag.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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