Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
