somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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