Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
