from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
