this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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